What is Trauma? Does it impact me?

Many people assume trauma only happens to others—those who’ve survived war, assault, natural disasters, or other obvious crises. But the truth is, trauma doesn’t always come with headlines or scars. You might be struggling with the effects of trauma without even realizing it.

Trauma can happen even in the absence of violence or catastrophe. It can stem from experiences like chronic rejection, emotional neglect,, or growing up in a household where your feelings weren’t safe. And while any one experience might seem “small,” trauma is often cumulative—building over time until it weighs heavily on your ability to feel safe, connected, or whole.

Trauma doesn’t just live in memories—it lives in the body and mind, often in ways that don’t feel connected. You might have a hard time regulating your emotions, or feel constantly overwhelmed by waves of anger, fear, or shame. On the other end of the spectrum, you may feel numb—like your emotions are muted, or missing altogether.

You may notice difficulty concentrating, remembering things, or following through on daily tasks. It’s easy to blame yourself or feel frustrated, but these patterns may be signs that your nervous system is still operating in survival mode—doing its best to protect you, even when the threat is long gone.

Trauma doesn’t just affect your thoughts and emotions—it can live in your body, too. Maybe you get frequent headaches or stomach aches with no clear cause. You might feel exhausted even after a full night’s sleep, like you just can’t recharge. Or maybe you feel wired and restless, always “on edge,” even when things seem fine on the outside.

Some people describe a tightness in their chest, like it’s hard to take a full breath. Others feel a general sense of heaviness, tension, or unease they can’t quite explain.

These are some of the ways your body might be holding onto stress—long after the moment has passed.

Trauma can make it hard to feel safe or connected in relationships—even with people you care about. You might struggle to say “no,” or find it difficult to set and maintain healthy boundaries. Maybe you’ve noticed it’s hard to trust others, or you tend to pull away because you’re afraid of being hurt, rejected, or abandoned.

Sometimes, trauma makes it harder to recognize red flags or feel confident in your ability to protect yourself in risky relationships. It can leave you questioning your own instincts.

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. These are common and painful patterns—but they can be understood, and they can shift with the right support.

Trauma can influence how you feel, how you connect with others, and how you move through the world. Its effects are wide-ranging, and no two people experience it the same way. In response to distress or feelings of helplessness, we all develop coping strategies—ways to survive what once felt unbearable.

Sometimes, these strategies turn into behaviors that feel out of control or hard to talk about. This might include self-injury, disordered eating, excessive gaming or internet use, gambling, compulsive shopping, struggles with sex or love addiction, or dependency on substances like alcohol or drugs.

These behaviors often begin as attempts to manage pain, not signs of weakness. Understanding their purpose is the first step toward healing.

In trauma therapy, we start by creating a foundation of understanding and safety. I’ll share some basic information about how trauma works in the brain and body, and together we’ll explore how it’s showing up in your life. Before we revisit past experiences, we’ll focus on building your internal sense of stability—helping you feel more grounded, empowered, and in control of your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.

Once you feel ready, we’ll begin to gently process the traumatic experiences you’ve been carrying. Through this work, we can begin to shift how your brain and body store those memories—so that they no longer overwhelm or define you. Over time, this can reduce distress, increase emotional resilience, and help you move through life with greater ease and self-trust.